Missing the Moment

This is what i see out of my kitchen window.

I don’t know if it’s always the same pair, but for the last 7 years there are always 2 crows sitting up in that silver birch. Imperious couple of Overseers they are, checking who’s going into and out of the Co-op, tut-tutting to themselves at all the crap these humans are buying.

So i took a few pics. Then switched to taking films.

They sat there like statues or dummy birds, hardly moving or stirring.

And then – Swoop! – they took off and flew right over towards me; as if coming to check me out too – and remind me not to be nosing cameras at them. Big black wings arcing portentously towards, looming large at the window, then flapped at the final second over the roof – gone.

And I’d missed it!

I was pointing the camera to the left and only caught their sudden take-off as peripheral movement. I hadn’t been paying attention. I was missing the moment.

“Bugger, bugger, bugger” i was going.

A 30 second vid that could have gone straight to the top of the YouTube Charts!

So you’ll just have to imagine the majestic swoop of those 2 crows.

Although I’m gonna spend hours looking out the kitchen window from now on – watching, waiting, wishing, for that missing moment to be returned to me.

Come do it again you black birdie bastards!

Naked elbows

Is it Comic Relief time i thought. Those Carry On doctors and nurses doing their silly nonsense again.

Took me about 5 minutes to work out what it meant.

Makes sense tho. You got to be naked from the elbow down when touching disease infected stinky bodies, plunging up dirty botties.

On the way to Yelverton

A pissy moor-misty afternoon and I’m looking for undiscovered Dartmoor.

Yelverton sounds like an interesting name – lets go there.

On the way I’m stopping to take pics

A stand of tall trees.

The ubiquitous solitary Hawthorn with scrags of gorse.

This horse comes over close to the car expecting cheesy wotsits.

I get to Yelverton. Split by road with a roundabout between Plymouth and Tavistock it is.

There was no picture to take of Yelverton.

Going to Yelverton was much better than getting to Yelverton.

The place to be seen (not)

Macari’s ice-cream parlour by Torquay harbour.

“Ice-cream parlour” gives it that air of retro kitsch.

And inside it’s pretty retro (read redundant) pretty kitsch (read cheap and plastic)

An old couple sipping their consolation cups of tea in silence, nothing to say, bored of one another, bored of life.

A man sat there on his own wearing funny ears (why?!)

A fat “Shaz” slurping down a Sundae.

Back in the 70’s this was probably the place to go with your girl and hang out by the harbour feeding her Knickerbocker Glory. But now….. no, not now – embarrassing really.

I was probably needing to be in there to manifest some sadness.

(This pic flatters to deceive)

The Beanie Monsters

What do you think this is?

Any ideas? There’s a head, a body, a tail.

You’ve probably worked it out by now

It’s amazing what you can do with digital software

Crash on The Hoe

Whizzing around The Hoe like a demented buzzy insect it was.

And then bash! crash!! flipped over on it’s back – wheels spinning wildly

“Fucking turn it back over!, fucking turn it over” shrieks the young man (idiot) at the old lady in the picture from the other side of the Hoe.

She didn’t know what they were going on about, paid no heed, ignored all the fuss.

“Fucking hell!….I can’t fucking believe it…it’s fucking holed the petrol tank again…. fucking hell!” shouts angry annoyed bespectacled kid running across like an demented buzzy insect.

Inwardly my camera registered a small smirk of satisfaction.

More about Buttfutsleaze

1. The Germans – during the 2nd World War – once dropped 2 bombs on the town. Probably by mistake.
2. Yank soldiers called the town “Sleepy Valley” because it was so, er dull quiet.
3. The Hamlyn Family owned most of the town up until 1920; then they sold out to the Co-op.
4. The Woollen Mill siren would hoot out during the day, calling the workers in, and out.
5. The Salmon Leap cafe got destroyed by fire in 1975. Replaced with a Little Chef.
6. In the 80’s (and probably for most of the 90’s too) Buckfastleigh was a “Town in decline”; high unemployment, social deprivation (incest and paedophilia rumours are rife even now)
7. The only notable minor “celeb” to come from Buckfastleigh in modern times is footballer Colin Lee (ironically he went on to become manager of Wolves and Walsall)
8. In 1992, a serial killer of homosexuals in London lived here for a bit (probably where he got his great “idea”)
9. In 2004 an African Witch Doctor battered his English wife with a metal pole in Plymouth Rd.
10. The Briens, the “most dysfunctional family in Devon” have been banned (ASBO’ed) from Buckfastleigh for 10 years (from June this year)
11. The Valiant Soldier Pub brings in 10,000 visitors.
12. The train from Totnes steams tourists in; to the Abbey in a red vintage double-decker bus they rattle; then rolls them over the back hill into the town.
13. There’s an Otter Sanctuary and Butterfly Farm.
14. On Thursday there’s a not very successful Farmers Market.
15. Instead of a Carnival there’s the piss-up called Lamb Pie Day.

12 incredible things you need to know about Backfatleigh

1. Buckfastleigh has half the letters of the alphabet contained in it’s name (go on, check it out)
2. Remains of mammoths, tigers, hippopotamus etc have been found in nearby caves.
3. The Cabell crypt in the ruined church on the hill; said to be the inspiration for The Hound of the Baskervilles.
4. There was once a cinema, called The Picture House, run by a Mr & Mrs Pickles.
5. There is a Point-to-Point racing Meet once a year.
6. In the 60’s the town had 15 cafes and restaurants (now it has one – the meek and mild “Singing Kettle”)
7. The dyeing of wool and cloth was seen as a Buckfastleigh speciality
8. The Woollen Mill Chimney – along with the purpose of the town – was blasted in 1976.
9. The BBC filmed “A Horseman Riding By” in 1977/8 in Chapel Street.
10. The John Loosemore Centre for Organ and Early Music was the first institution to bring continental musicians to England apparently (don’t quite believe this)
11. The Caravan Park got shut down in 1987; trade in the town dried up.
12. The Church on the Hill was burnt down – reputedly – by satanists in 1992.

I’ve got more exciting facts to share tomorrow.

The “babe” who died

Driving back from the A383 near Bickington a month ago i saw a small group of teenagers stood around this tree.

They were conducting their own little memorial service.

I’ve kept going past it wondering who the flowers might be for. So i stopped today.

Jo Pryce, aged 17, killed on Wednesday 17 Oct 2007. The car she was a passenger in smashed into the tree.

I googled her name. There’s a Bebo tribute site in her memory; Jo and her chunky necklaced boyfriend – Darren – are seen goofing about.

It’s not the first time I’ve seen floral roadside memorials on this road. Apparently there’s been 4 fatalities on it in the last 12 years.

A well-loved and much missed girl.

Darren was driving the car. Far too fast around that bend. He denies killing the “love of his life”, his “babe”.

His trial is in January.

Remembrance

Up on the Hoe yesterday afternoon as the sun was starting to drop.

This three were on the Parade next to the cenotaph.

Silently gazing out to the Sound, not talking.

Quietly looking. Or maybe sadly looking. As tho sat in remembrance.

The old mans cap and the womans hat make them seem dated, old-fashioned.

It could have been 1948.